Cover Design: Letitia Hasser, RBA Designs
Photo: David Wagner
Model: David John Craig
the day I broke your heart. What you didn’t know was that I was breaking mine
I thought they’d be enough–my husband and my son. That I’d get home and
everything would go back to the way it was . . .
Before the war.
Before the ambush.
But, no matter how hard I try, I can’t erase the trauma we shared. I can’t seem
to forget the way my heart beat in time with yours.
The truth is I’m lost without you.
I thought the nightmare was over when they pulled us from that hole in the
ground, but nothing could have prepared me for the war I’d face at home.
I know it’s selfish of me to ask, but, please, I have to see you one last time.
All my love,
ruining my life.”
about them. Tell me about all of the women you’ve been with since Germany.”
the blue, it’s never right, and their smiles—all wrong.”
Reaching out, she places a hand on my chest, and I know that she must feel the
way my heart is pounding against my rib cage, reaching for her. Always reaching
blur enough that I can pretend…” I pause running a hand down my face. “So that
I can pretend they’re you? You want to know how fucking miserable I am? How
when I slide between their legs, I close my eyes, and it’s your face I see? How
I’m always careful not to kiss them because their lips are all wrong. How every
time I finish I want to fucking kill myself, because I can’t stand the pain of
wanting the one woman I can never have.”
met. Nothing’s changed. I think we’ve romanticized this situation long enough,
snidely. “Someone else’s wife and I’m a career soldier. This isn’t exactly
mistake. And we never would have happened if—”
Handle in hand, she looks back at me with the sweep of her eyes until they meet
mine. That’s how we started, and it’s only fitting it’s how we should end. For
the moment, we’re right back there in the place we created, where we are
perfect. Where our souls line up without any visible smudge on the seams. In a
place where there is still so much love, so much that I can’t stop the tear
that slides out before batting it away with the back of my hand.
her husband, Nick, and her naughty beagle, Sadie. She pens messy, sexy,
angst-filled contemporary romance, as well as romantic comedy and erotic
suspense because it’s what she loves as a reader.
rap. She dabbles a little in photography, can knit a simple stitch scarf for
necessity, and on occasion, does very well at whiskey.